Today’s post is about body confidence, something that I’ve always struggled with and I know it’s something that others find hard too. Body confidence is something we can all face at times, whether it be good or bad. Although most of us are good at hiding it, I can promise those of you that are self conscious, you’re not alone.
The majority of my life I spent overweight. Hated my body more than anything. At times I would look in the mirror and be disgusted by myself, I’ve always struggled to see the real me. I’ve been good at pretending to be confident, at times being loud and brash, always shying away from the real issue. It’s cost me friends, relationships and even caused arguments with my family. It takes a long time for you to ever see things differently.
The thing is, body confidence is one of the most important things we need to learn in life. Instead of judging one another, we should be working as a team, cheering each other on. Not everyone in the world was born to be picture perfect. We all have our imperfections, whether they may be scars, stretch marks, or anything that makes someone feel uncomfortable about the way they look. To someone else’s eyes, you are perfect but for you to get there you have to believe in yourself that you are beautiful.
Beauty isn’t all about being dolled up everywhere you go, even if it’s just to buy some milk or go to the gym. You don’t have to draw on your eyebrows, wear fake lashes, get lip fillers. Yes, I agree that some of these things we don’t do for others, we do for ourselves and we should never change who we are to please someone else. When it comes down to it though, are you really happy with yourself when you spend an hour at the end of the day taking your mask off?
I wear makeup and at times quite a lot! It helps! I can hide behind the mask and no one can see what I truly look like, if I’m honest with you, I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I’m 22 and I have awful skin, I’m naturally pale, I have bags under my eyes big enough to carry my weekly shop. I hate it with a passion! For anyone who knows me well enough, if you see me with no makeup on I trust you a hell of a lot. Still I follow the same routine day by day, hiding my true self away. Maybe it’s because I want to, which I do but then I think really, if I showed people how my face really looked I’d be judged completely different. It’s sad to say it but it’s true, today’s youth are shallow when it comes to looks. Looks are important, probably more important than anything else.
I had this conversation with my boyfriend, the standard would you still love me if… and bizarrely enough both of us hesitated our answers when it came to certain things. I’m sure it isn’t the way we were brought up, our parents wouldn’t ask the same questions or even consider not being with their other half because something dramatic changed the way they looked. But to us, to our generation it’s all about getting that perfect Instagram picture, the likes on your facebook photo, how many retweets you can get. It’s sad! No wonder so many children are struggling growing up, no wonder some many people end up anorexic, or self harming. As a culture we have manipulated the way we see beauty. Now some people will blame elements of media for this change, music videos being too sexual, the way that women look in porn, magazines only featuring size 0 women and overly muscled men. Life isn’t like that. Not at all!
We should be striving to be happy with our bodies, not by losing weight, eating healthy, wearing the most expensive makeup, by having cosmetic surgery, but by refreshing our minds. In understanding that impurities can make up the best parts of people. In all fairness, I may sound as though I’m preaching something impossible and contradicting all my social media. yes, I work out, I’ve been working hard to lose weight and get a toned and lean body, something that isn’t necessarily possible. Originally I thought it was to save a previous relationship but in the end I saved myself, health wise I had to. Not because I was dramatically overweight, but because if I didn’t I may find certain things hard in the future. I still don’t think I’m beautiful most of the time even after losing two and a half stone, I pick faults that drive people crazy. I still have loose fat, stretch marks, bad skin but being happy in yourself brings better things into your life.
I learnt my body confidence by changing my routine, putting myself in situations I wouldn’t normally be in. I changed my group of friends, my job, the original atmosphere that made me so self conscious. Still, like I’ve said many times in this post, I’m still not happy but I’ve began to be at peace with myself. Someone finds me beautiful, imperfections and all. This only came because I learnt to be confident with what I have and the rest will follow. Don’t beat yourself up because you at some cake and slipped off your diet. Cake is good! Actually cake is awesome!! Don’t beaut yourself up because you’ve got bad skin, eventually it’ll go. All these things help you grow into a better person, someone that is more understanding of others.
Don’t spend your time worrying about how you look because when you’re 90 and you look back, you’ll wonder what the hell you were thinking. Embrace now, you are beautiful no matter what anyone else says or may think.